nostalgic

normally i try to be all witty and funny on the blog, but today i have been a bit nostalgic. my baby turned 4. 4! i never thought i would be one of 'those' moms. you know, the ones who say "time goes so fast," or "enjoy them while they are little" or who are sad when their kid is off to kindergarten. but i am. maybe its because our little son is so close to being here and i have been clinging to these last few weeks. it has been us 3 for so long and although we have prayed and hoped and wanted to become a family of 4, there is that part of me that is sad to close this chapter of the 3 of us. i don't know what it is, but today i just wanted to eat this little kid up. i just look at nova and how big she is and how she is grown and the opportunity that i have had to play such a huge part in her growth. i feel so honored to be her mother. as weird as it sounds, i feel so often that her spirit is older than mine and i am so indescribably grateful to be her mother. to care for her. to love her. to teach her. to be her's. she made me a mother. i have felt also on several occasions that we were good friends up in heaven. she teaches me patience like i NEVER thought i could learn it. she has taught me that my capacity to love is more than i could have ever imagined. i never knew i could love someone like i love her.

one of our birthday traditions is to go around the table and say our favorite thing about the person's birthday it is. dan told nova how he loved it that she let him call her squeaker. he loved her because she is happy, and creative. he loves her because she is smart and loves to learn. at any given point in the day she wants to be a dental hygienist, a nurse, a scientist, a dancer, a writer, a painter. dan loves it. as soon as dan comes in the door she runs to hug him and asks him what they can learn about and they do science experiments until dinner.

i told her i love that she has music in her soul. when i say she is constantly making music and sound i mean it. i love that she is so brave, i love that she loves church and invites our neighbors to come to primary with her. i love that she is obedient and is so good at following the strict diet requirements that is required of her. she never complains about what she can and can't eat. i love that she is thankful. she really wanted to go to red robin today for dinner and was so careful about eating things low in PHE so she could have french fries. all through dinner she kept hugging us and telling us thank you for such a special day. it doesn't take a lot to make her happy and she finds joy in the little things. i hope she is always able to do that. i love her so very much and am so grateful that Heavenly Father has entrusted her to dan and i to care for and pray every day that i will be the mom that she needs and deserves.

nova's bicycle helmet---that's what she wanted---that and some t-shirts and big girl pj's. she is pretty easy to please.

 she wanted a strawberry shortcake cake......what? i wanted to be supportive of a non-princess cake, but felt freaked out about this idea---but it turned out better than i thought even though the shape is off----but she loved it and loved helping with it---and that's all that matters.

 a closer shot of the cake

on a non-birthday related note, here is a cute pic of nova and her good friend louie. they are the best of buds and we are so glad they live so close.

and nova went to the dentist on monday and LOVED it! she keeps asking when she can go back. and is obsessed with flossing. i was blown away with how well it went. i'll be honest, my expectations were not very high, but she did AWESOME. and no cavities!