WARNING: The following is a rant about conditions in an industry in which you most likely don't work (We don't know any science news writers, do we?). For those of you who would rather get the gist of the rant without all the details, then skip to the last paragraph and enjoy the YouTube video that illustrates the idea.
Once in a while, you come across something that so perfectly describes your negative feelings about a subject that it seems your soul sings in response. Then there are other times when you find a bit of satire so elegantly written that it exposes the same problems with only a wink and a tongue planted firmly in-cheek. Not only does your soul sing, but your very bones ache at the bittersweet truthiness. It's satire that makes you want to laugh and weep at the same time.
So you can only imagine my astonishment at reading the following article (hit the link below) from a prominent newspaper in the U.K. If I had some kind of recording device at the time, I'd have a lovely playlist of arias sung by my soul, accompanied by the syncopated cracking of my bones.
Take a moment to read it.
The Super Amazing Link of Awesomeness
Stop. Seriously, go back and read it.
The reason this article affected me so is that it's a stinging reminder of everything I hate about the industry I work in, specifically scientific and technical news reporting in a Web-based format. Don't get me wrong, there are so many things I love about it. I love being privy to the latest information in science and technology. It's one of the things I enjoy most. But I hate how we (the entire industry) go about doing the job we do.
Mostly, it boils down to a hate of journalism. I hope not to offend any journalists in the crowd. I once loved the field, relished in tracking down a story. But journalism as a whole is prone to sloppy writing. In fact, sloppy and uninteresting writing is encouraged for the sake of tradition; "It's been done this way for over a century!" It's overly formulaic, and for all the emphasis put on facts and specificity, it ends up being awfully vague and uninformative too often.
As a small tangent, the biggest problem is the establishment's fear of embracing the changes demanded by a connected world, where there are no arbitrary restrictions on word length (the Internet is not running out of space!), and no one really cares if you put the 6 Ws (who, what, when, where, why, and how) in the second paragraph as long as the lede is entertaining.
Those in the field might even notice I've been using the serial comma in blatant disregard of journalistic style. Stick that in your Associated Press pipe and smoke it, dear journalism! Sweet revenge.
But I'm straying from the point. The satire brilliantly written by Martin Robbins shows everything that's wrong (instead of complaining about it, like I just did). And that's what I love about writing done well. He absolutely nails every last grievance I have with the job and manages to be hilarious at the same time.
He even satirizes the "Related Links" at the bottom. In fact, I encourage you to click on the third link because it is unbelievable. That's right, Mr. Robbins just RickRolled you and a respected news publication. That's not traditional journalism, friends. But it is unmitigated genius. Even the comments section is a beautiful parody of the institution.
In short, it's the best thing I've ever seen on the Internet; and yes, we're talking about the same Internet that has given us such classics as the Numa Numa guy, LOL Cats, and Double Rainbow.
THE LAST PARAGRAPH: Welcome to those who just want the Cliff's Notes version (and I can't blame you, though you have to wonder what you missed...). Here's the summary: I found an article that effectively satirizes my job so well that it nearly made me cry tears of joy and sorrow. Simultaneously. It pretends to be serious while simply stating the obvious formula behind the very thing it purports to be. It's amazing. In order to illustrate the point to those who don't care about the formula behind writing science news, simply listen carefully to the lyrics of the song below. It satirizes love songs in exactly the same way. Oh, and in case you're wondering why I'm posting this diatribe on a blog previously dealing only in cute videos and images of a particular little girl, it's simple: I'm reasonably sure that none of my managers know about this blog. Sorry for the interruption.
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