Cancer

I wrote all of my feelings on the last few weeks, but after I typed it all up, it just felt to personal, so here is a simple run down of everything for anyone interested. Maybe at some point I will post it here, but not today. I do think that I will keep updates here (or at least try to) during the next few weeks as we navigate chemotherapy. 



For those who want a simple run down of everything Dan has testicular cancer. We found out Christmas Eve and it has been a whirlwind month and a half to say the least. These last few weeks have been crazy and a bit scary at times, but so completely full of tender mercies, blessings, miracles, and peace. 

He had surgery mid January, and we found out it was a bit more serious than they originally thought (needs to be treated by chemo instead of just radiation) So, Dan is starting chemotherapy on Monday and will be doing 2 rounds, and be done before baby boy Hope moves in. Yeah! Doing so little chemo is such a blessing and hopefully being done before little Dash comes, is another huge relief. (Not his real name--just his nickname)  We feel incredibly blessed that we found his tumor early and that we have such a great support system from our biological families as well as our California family. :)

We also feel extremely blessed that this cancer is 98% survivable and according to his doctors, the lottery of all cancers. Which although it seems ironic to put it that way, we feel so fortunate to be dealing with this as opposed to something much more serious. 

Things I have been reminded of these last few weeks:

Heavenly Father's love for His children is real. Trials help us see His love and require us to seek it and ask for it.

Trials are hard and every single person has them. Some have more visible ones than others, but everyone is carrying burdens and trials that are so very hard to bear and seem unbearable--and ARE unbearable at times. They can feel heavy and too much if we try to do it alone. I also know that we aren't expected to to it alone. The atonement is powerful and Christ has suffered all so we don't have to do it alone. Ever. I am so grateful for the perspective of the gospel. 

We are stronger than we think we are, and the power of prayer is real.

Right before we found out about the cancer, I was listening to a talk by Elder Uchtdorf "The Infinite Power of Hope" 

I really loved this quote and it has been a good reminder about where my focus should be.

The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward.

Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father.

“in the depth of winter, [we find] within [us] an invincible summer.” ³¹

God is so good, and the gospel is what brings me hope and joy even when it would be easier to sit in a corner and cry.  (Not to say I have done my share of that either though. HA! But I just blame it on the pregnancy :) )