the "S" cwirl

dan has been in desparate need----and i mean desperate need----of a hair cut. it has been INSANELY long. i have been asking, and well, begging really, to give him a hair cut for the last 3 1/2 weeks. why has it taken so long? one word. trust. you see, i am no hair stylist. nor am i a beautician by any stretch of the imagination. i have only cut his hair a maximum of 3 times and it has been under beautician supervision---my little sister. basically i have a strategy. i start cutting it, and then natalie (my little sister) thinks its so painful to watch me do it, that she ends up doing it herself. (brilliance, i know) the problem with this strategy is that natalie is no longer around and dan knows it----so it is just dan, me and a set of clippers. it frightens him to say the least. it frightens me frankly---tho i would never admit it. basically cutting hair to me is as painful as chewing on tin foil. i dislike it for several reasons--let me give you the top 5.

5--i dislike the clipper control---yes, some may enjoy the power to cut and trim if you are well trained in the art of trimming and clipping. some describe it as invigorating. i don't. you see, if you can't channel the power of clipper control, you end up with random bald spots that look anything but natural. and that is a bad thing. which brings me to reason #4.

4--fear--i would love to take the responsibility for a good hair cut, but don't want to take responsibility for a bad one. plus i don't want to attend social events with someone who looks like their barber is a weed whacker or a 4 year old. so because i am scared, i am timid which brings me to reason #3.

3--the critique--don't get me wrong, i LOVE dan---i am absolutely c to the razy about him, but when it comes to cutting his luscious locks, he is a particular and picky. i work and work, and then he analyzes and scrutinizes. then he speculates. and finally he articulates how it needs to be a little shorter here, a little longer there (uh...too late for that....) and how it needs to be a little more blended here and a little thinner there and so on and so forth.......which brings me to reason #2.

2--the time----what would take a barber probably 15 minutes and 15 bucks takes me an hour and a half, and i am not any richer after the event is over. just exhausted, and hairy, which brings me to the top reason why i dislike cutting hair and will never EVER become a beautician.

1--hair phobia---i'll admit it, i have a hair phobia. little hairs all over me, and little hairs all over my bathroom AND the little hairs that are microbial and are all over EVERYTHING totally gross me out. you walk in it, you breath it, it gets in your underwear----BLAH!!!! it makes me itchy and scratchy! call me a pansy, call me a hair-a-phob, i don't care. i even wrote a poem about it---i call it, "An Ode to the Hair-a-Phob" it is only a verse of the 5 verses that i have composed.

hair, hair everywhere,
over here, over there,
itchy in my underwear,
why do i have to cut this hair,
it isn't fair, to cut the hair,
why don't you go and buy some nair?
or go to the barber who's name is blair?
then i would not have to wear your hair
on my very favorite pair.....of jeans.

anyway..... this weekend, i finally convinced dan that we needed to cut it since my mom was here visiting and she could watch nova so i could completely focus on his head. what would be worse than cutting dan's hair would be cutting his hair while nova was crying, or cutting it while dan was holding nova. hairy bathroom, and hairy nova-----itch-a-licious, and not an option for me. SO, after much persuasion, we were in the bathroom with the clippers and an old sheet on the floor to catch the majority of the little hairy fly-aways that infiltrate the atmosphere......insert shudder here.......

needless to say, its done and over with and i don't have to do it for another 4-6 weeks. however, i made a discover that is hair related, and since this blog is all about hair, i thought i would add this little tidbit of information. dan has given nova a gift. it is the gift of the "S" curl/swirl---i call it a cwirl. when dan's hair gets longer, his sideburns have a magical trick. his sideburns start writing my name. they make the letter "S"---ok, not really but the cwirl looks sort of like an S or a backwards S. anyway, its a little bizarre. i think i could go on and on about the "S" cwirl, but this blog is already entirely too long. but i will just show some pictures to show how nova has inherited the "S" cwirl from dan. its like an eye-spy----can you find the cwirl?