Chemo week 3

Half way there baby!

We finished up the week and are officially half way done with chemo! In some ways it has seemed really fast and in other ways it has seemed to be really dragging.

This week Monday started off kind of rough. Dan went in for a treatment and was able to go back to work afterwards for a bit but came home feeling pretty miserable. The drug he gets every Monday makes him feel like he has the flu and can make him feel achy, chilled, and get a really high fever. He has never gotten a fever before with this drug, but Monday he got a pretty high fever and felt awful. I was a little worried we would need to take him in. Luckily, the Tylenol took it down and he was able to get some sleep and felt much better in the morning.

Tuesday, his hair started falling out in clumps in the shower. It was pretty crazy, and although expected, was a little sad. Dan shaved his whole head before he went to work. He had Griff watch him because whenever we have talked about Dan loosing his hair, Griff has been really concerned about it and has even cried a few times. But Griff (and Dan) took it like a champ. Dan did a big strip down the middle of his mohawk and Griffon laughed and told him he had a bridge on his head. Afterwards Griff went and sat by the window and just stared out the window for a bit. I went over and sat by him and snuggled him and he said, "I think that when I have chemo, I will shave my head like Dad. It's not scary." It made me smile, but also pulled at my heart. One of the hardest things for me throughout this whole process has been to try to help Nova and Griffon process what is going on without being scared or feel worried or totally have our life turned upside down with our regular routines being different or dynamics changing. (Along with coping with those things myself)The kids have overall done well, but seeing little Griff being so pensive made me sad that he even has to process stuff like that, let alone have cancer be such a part of his life right now. Cancer is dumb.

Tuesday night Dan came home from work and experimented with the kids about how to pull the rest of his hair out. They tried duct tape--but that didn't work, and they tried a lint roller too. HA! That didn't work either. Wednesday morning, he completely shaved it off, but there are parts that are still sort of growing. It is super weird. He has been wearing a hat to work, and it actually has been harder for him to loose his hair than he anticipated, and that as a spouse has been hard too. I wish I could give him some of mine! :)

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. Friday he had a doctors appointment, and his blood levels look great and he is on track to go into his heavy week on Monday of treatment everyday. It is a little daunting and am not looking forward to it. But, knowing that we have done it before helps, and after this week, we really will be on the home stretch.

Tender Mercies this week:
*A sunshine package from one of my best friends growing up. It came on a bum day, and it really was such a ray of sunshine! Thanks Mel!
*Baby Dash. Although all the feelings you get at the end of pregnancy isn't the ideal thing to be feeling during all of this, this baby boy has brought so much peace and comfort and joy to me. A year ago, this week, I was 12 weeks pregnant when I went into the doctor and found out that there was no heartbeat. I was so sad. I felt frustrated. I was discouraged that for the 4th time I would have to go through a miscarriage. But. This week, a year later, I am weeks from delivering a baby. I have felt immense love that I have been pregnant these last few months even with all the chaos of this cancer business. He has been a constant reminder that Heavenly Father hears our cries for what we so desperately desire--but in his time table. And through this whole cancer process, when it has been scary and uncertain, this tiny moving human that I am carrying inside of my body has reminded me of God's love for me and His hand in my life and how God knows what we need when we need it. God does not always give us what we want, but He will always give us what we need.

Hard things this week:
*Dan loosing his hair, and seeing him struggle with it.
*Friday was a rough day. I just felt sort of blah after about noon. Dan has been working really late hours this week with a big project that has been coming up that kind of bottle necks with him. It has been a miracle he has been able to work through this entire chemo thing so far, but he has been super busy. So the days have been long without him here at night to help with bedtime routines and dinner. But hooray that he has a job that he loves and that he has a job! But putting kids to bed alone 8 months pregnant isn't my favorite. HA! (Lets be real though---doing the bedtime routine not pregnant and alone isn't my favorite either!) HAHA!

So grateful to be halfway done!