Done!!!

Today was Dan's last day of chemo! YEAH! I cannot believe that its done. And I could not be more grateful. It feels surreal. Driving home I felt so emotional. I felt relieved. I felt happy. I felt exhausted. But I mostly felt thankful that we are through the whirlwind of the last 3 months.

Dan's doctor told him last Friday that he has never in his career seen anyone his age with this kind of cancer with this kind of regime of drugs do as well as he has. He said, "I don't know how you have done it man." Dan said, he wanted to tell him, "The enabling power of the atonement and prayer." How true that is. I have never felt so empowered and enabled by Christ, and I know that Dan will say the same thing.

I will not miss this cancer business and hope that it never comes back--ever. But the growth that has happened within myself and with Dan, and together as a couple, and as a family has been immense. It is amazing how after you have done something and you realize how much you have had to rely on the Lord and each other and your friends and family how you realize you never knew how strong you had the capacity to be. We never could have done any of this without the love and prayers of so. many. people. And we could not have done it without God. It makes me think of the poem that President Monson quoted a few conferences ago while Dan was unemployed, "Good timber does not grow with ease, the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees." That really resonated with me then and I still reflect on it. I want to be a strong tree, but I hate the wind and when the wind starts to blow, I don't want to be a strong tree anymore. :) (Let me stay wimpy!!!!) I know that we don't have to stand in the wind alone to become a stronger version of our tree though. I am so grateful that we have a respite from this particular storm, but am grateful for the wind from this particular hurricane. (That blew so hard that it took Dan's hair with it--Ha! I just couldn't resist.)

 Getting all hooked up for his final dose of Bleo--and final dose of chemo.

All of the great nurses at the infusion center. On the bottom right is Jessica--she was our main nurse and was so fabulous. She is getting married in a couple weeks. On the left is KB. The other nurses in the back are Lori, Hannah, Sarah and Shelly. We loved them, and will miss them, but won't miss that green chair. :) They came in and rang a bell and gave him his cancer monkey and a survival certificate and clapped and cheered with him as his IV started to beep that he was done. 

We all three spent a lot of time in this little room. A lot of people have commented that its been crazy timing being pregnant during all of this. I don't know if I have written this here, but this little boy has brought me more peace than I can even articulate. Admittedly, this has been my hardest pregnancy as far as feeling sick and tired goes. I have been more achy and had a harder time than I ever have with Nova or Griffon. But in some ways, his has been the easiest. He has brought me a lot of joy and happiness even in times of a lot of stress and worry. And I am so grateful he has stayed in this whole time too and hasn't decided to come early. :)