A Short Video Analysis, Or How I Made Fun of Suzanne

Dan here. I know I don't write much, or ever, on the blog. That's mostly for one reason: Suzanne is actually funnier than I am in print, which is embarrassing because I graduated with the degree in English and she studied Integrated Playground Dynamics and Jungle Gym Economics. However, there is one area where I can still claim superiority over Suzanne. Actually, superiority is still too strong of a word; it's more like a slight advantage that does nothing to make me look any less like a goober to the average bystander.

This small advantage is in oratory. I'm just a little better at speaking than Suzanne, mostly because she talks so fast that even she doesn't understand what she's saying. I was on my third date with her before I could decipher what she was talking about. Imagine my shock when all this time she'd been telling me how wonderful her missionary was and just how incredible her current boyfriend was, and just how impressed I'd be when I met them both. I suppose that was one of those times where Heavenly Father sends you a stupor of thought as a blessing. If I had been able to understand all that, I probably would have kept right on walking.

Who says ignorance isn't useful from time to time?

While Suzanne has made a concerted effort to talk slower, she still has a few problems with her mouth running away from her. My mother's eyes still show a slight twinge of panic when Suzanne talks to her, presumably because she's frantically trying to keep pace with all the verbage streaming past her ears.

So it comes as no surprise that in the last blog post, there is a video documenting Suzanne's capacity for verbal blunders. You may recall Johnny Seed Apple Dee? Well, I've been teasing her mercilessly about that because it reminds me of one of my all-time favorite moments in TV history. As evidence, I've compiled a short video below highlighting the fleeting similarity between my wife and a hairy man...that came out wrong. Apparently I'm not immune to the occasional blunder as well.

But don't take my word for it. Take a look at the video below and let us know what you think.



And special thanks goes to ABC, the producers of Wipeout, and one particularly ineloquent guy for providing me with endless bouts of gut-busting laughter. I've never replayed a video so often in my life.

johnny seed apple what?

yesterday was a very important day in the history of america. it is a day that i have never actually celebrated before, but upon hearing about the day and its utter significance it became very apparent that a celebration, a party even, was in order. the reason for the celebration? the apple man himself.......johnny. ok, ok, who has ever heard of johnny appleseed day really......i never have, but i really was pretty excited when i heard about it seeing that i always want a reason to have a party or celebrate something random. so the following video depicts what we did last night in memory of the man johnny and his apple seeds.


dan was sporting a DI pot, nova an orange plastic bowl, (and a ceramic mug for the picture) and i was wearing a pressure cooker. (please note: when wearing pots upon the head, they can cause what is known as 'pot-head' after you take them off.....not to be confused with a druggie......who also can be called a pot head.......which from the way i am talking on the video one may think i was smoking pot......johnny seed apple what? this is not true.....i just suffered a minor case of thought dyslexia......thats all.....anyway......)

needless to say, i was probably a little too excited about our dinner party, dan was a good sport, (i don't think he completely understood what he was getting into when he married me.....too late now eh?) and nova was not a big fan of the whole dinnerware on her head idea.....i can't imagine why.....regardless of the reception that johnny appleseed day received in our house i would personally like to thank johnny for giving me something to make memories with, because life isn't about how much money you make or what kind of car you drive or how skinny you are after pregnancy. its about laughing and making memories. its about fun things like wearing pots on your head and purple pancakes. it is in the journey that we receive the most fulfillment. thank you johnny for giving us something to celebrate.

toaster vs fridge

so the gift that i got at the retreat was a stop watch key chain that plays a clip from high school musical. so for family night we put it to good use for the activity and we had a dance off. dan and i constantly debate who has the better dance moves. (seriously we know we aren't good dancers, but whatever.....) so we decided we would settle it once and for all. feel free to vote on the poll and let us know who you think won the competition. also, at the end of the music piece there is a short piece of music with no words and the rule of the game was the person recording had to call out a kitchen appliance that the person had to incorporate into their dance moves......ya, we are a little weird, but it sure made for a fun family home evening eh?

here is a video of nova too--mostly because i know my mom could care less about the dance off, and she just wants to see nova. which i don't blame her because nova is pretty cute. but as you can see from the video, she does cute pretty well.

i fall for fall

fall is my most favorite time of year. i absolutely love it. not only does the earth celebrate the season in my favorite color, but it feels good, and it smells good. dan doesn't understand when i try to explain it to him, but everything seems more crisp. the other day i parked clear at the other end of the wal-mart parking lot just so i could walk outside longer. yummy!

i contemplated my love for the season as i drove home from our annual hall women retreat this weekend at bear lake. i drove home by myself through logan canyon and its a miracle i didn't die because i was looking out the window at all the colors. the lime, forest, emerald and vibrant green leaves that have been drizzled in a buttery gold, and trees and ridges that have burst into colorful flames of orange, red and yellow. and there are other places where it looks like someone has dumped their paints down the mountain as the color spills down the hill. Heavenly Father really did a good job creating this world. its beautiful. almost just as satisfying as the colors on the trees is when the color falls off. then there are leaves EVERYWHERE. i love them most in a pile to run and jump in and on the road to drive through. there is nothing more peaceful to me than driving through leaves and watching them swirl and spin around with the wind from the car. sigh......i just love it. i wish i could keep fall in a bottle and just feel it when i feel sad.


anyway, we had a retreat like i mentioned earlier and it was REALLY fun. i love my family so much and love laughing and spending time with them. it helps me remember where i come from and that i need to try to be better. we had to take a white elephant gift that describes us....so i took a picture in mine before i took it.....the reason for the gift: i love orange, i love to dress up and i love being a little crazy. as for pictures of the actual retreat, i don't have because my camera died......but hopefully i can snag some from someone and post them later.














the gift that i received was nearly as good. i can't take a picture of it i will just have to show you in my blog tommorrow......its gonna be good.....

my life is complete......

has it really been almost a month since i last posted? sheesh! my excuse you may ask?....i don't really have one except i have been slightly busy. it all started with a our busy labor day. we had a stay-cation. a what you say? a stay-cation. not a vacation, but a stay-cation. we did not vacate our house, we stayed. we had a pretend camp out. we laid out our sleeping bags on the floor, roasted hot dogs and marshmellows over our stove and hung stars from the ceiling. ahhhh.....sweet relaxation.......and we didn't even have to drive to get there. and that is how you camp with a 2 month old.

then we blessed our little nova the first sunday in september. dan's mom made her dress--its a little big, but dan's mom did an amazing job. it was really beautiful.



















then we traveled to idaho for my lil sis's wedding.....AND forgot our camera for the event......that does it, i am not a blogger.....or a photographer for that matter, but we did take a picture after the wedding with nova wearing dan's tie. (she looked cuter in her new dress, but i will post a picture of that when i get a copy of one.)




















so a stay-cation, a baby blessing and a wedding are all pretty major right? well, yes, but really there is something even grander.....something even bigger if you can fathom. my summer was completed this past weekend. i was able to partake of a tigers blood snow cone. i haven't had a snow cone this ENTIRE SUMMER and i LOVE them nearly as much as penny loves a wishing well as much as peanut loves butter......ok, bad analogy, but true none-the-less. basically i am trying to articulate my true and complete LOVE for snow cones. for some odd reason north ogden does not have a snow shack--apparently people haven't really lived around here......at least i could never find one in the 5 times i deliberately set out to find one. through all of my cravings and intense need to eat one this entire summer, i was never able to quench my thirst. not that i am a vampire or anything, but i could probably live off of tigers blood snow cones. --insert slurping sound here----its like little pieces of heaven sent through an ice machine and then drenched in the juices of deliciousness and at least three kinds of awesome.......ya, its that good. yummy!

anyway, this summer i have come so close to a snow cone that it nearly pains me to even talk about it. a few weeks ago i went to a grocery store and found one outside. using my insane ability of self control i decided i would get one on my way out. HOWEVER, by the time i came out it was CLOSED......it was 3 in the afternoon! it was 95 degrees outside? what the, what the? tears stung my eyes and i felt like this times 186:



needless to say, i was not a happy camper that day.....ask dan.

but alas, in all the places, on sept 12, i found my beloved cone of snow in idaho at the chuck-a-rama at my lil sisters wedding.......and all i have to say is, thank you natalie for getting married, thank you dustins parents for planning the luncheon at the chuck, and thank you chuck and your rama for producing all you can eat tigers blood snow cones. again, since i didn't have my camera to document the glorious and sublime reunion of me and my long lost friend tiger, and his blood, i found a picture that depicts my feelings......minus the curlers of course.....



ahhh..........delicious-ness and three kinds of awesome gone and digested, but oh so delectable. life is good and i am signing off to dream of clouds of snow and ice drenched in flavor........