A Short Video Analysis, Or How I Made Fun of Suzanne

Dan here. I know I don't write much, or ever, on the blog. That's mostly for one reason: Suzanne is actually funnier than I am in print, which is embarrassing because I graduated with the degree in English and she studied Integrated Playground Dynamics and Jungle Gym Economics. However, there is one area where I can still claim superiority over Suzanne. Actually, superiority is still too strong of a word; it's more like a slight advantage that does nothing to make me look any less like a goober to the average bystander.

This small advantage is in oratory. I'm just a little better at speaking than Suzanne, mostly because she talks so fast that even she doesn't understand what she's saying. I was on my third date with her before I could decipher what she was talking about. Imagine my shock when all this time she'd been telling me how wonderful her missionary was and just how incredible her current boyfriend was, and just how impressed I'd be when I met them both. I suppose that was one of those times where Heavenly Father sends you a stupor of thought as a blessing. If I had been able to understand all that, I probably would have kept right on walking.

Who says ignorance isn't useful from time to time?

While Suzanne has made a concerted effort to talk slower, she still has a few problems with her mouth running away from her. My mother's eyes still show a slight twinge of panic when Suzanne talks to her, presumably because she's frantically trying to keep pace with all the verbage streaming past her ears.

So it comes as no surprise that in the last blog post, there is a video documenting Suzanne's capacity for verbal blunders. You may recall Johnny Seed Apple Dee? Well, I've been teasing her mercilessly about that because it reminds me of one of my all-time favorite moments in TV history. As evidence, I've compiled a short video below highlighting the fleeting similarity between my wife and a hairy man...that came out wrong. Apparently I'm not immune to the occasional blunder as well.

But don't take my word for it. Take a look at the video below and let us know what you think.



And special thanks goes to ABC, the producers of Wipeout, and one particularly ineloquent guy for providing me with endless bouts of gut-busting laughter. I've never replayed a video so often in my life.